What March 30th is like.

This morning my desk is such a mess I put on some music from the 1980s and danced while I got vicious tearing up little Post-It notes with cryptic messages and names of people I should probably know who they are.  I'm done with them.  (The notes.  Not the people.)

Nothing's wrong, I just can't hear my own voice any more. 

I made coffee with a spoon I thought might be dirty OK FINE I knew for sure it was dirty I used it yesterday.

Mercury is in retrograde and the people OH MY GOD the people are crazy.  I didn't used to believe in this stuff until I worked in retail for 20 years and now I can tell you HELL YES I don't know why or how but people change.  You can Google that if you don't believe me.  Or just continue to don't believe me if you want.  We can still hang out.

But a woman brought her kid into my store and let her play with the toys on the windowsill for TWO HOURS.
 
A man refused to pay his bill and then he sent me an email saying he thought I was pretty rude about that. 

So they're gone now and I stop and I listen and I think, where am I?  Not physically; I can point myself out on a map thank heavens.  But the part that makes me ME, the girl who used to have interesting thoughts and a few friends, whose day wasn't taken up with a colour-coded to-do list arranged in priority sequence. 

I have voicemail now, the light flashes and it's very distracting.  Who can think when there's a red flashing light on her desk?  And isn't every single item on this to-do list actually a red flashing light?

And now I hear a voice.  It's quiet, and it comes from the warm place just behind my ear. 
The only way out is through, that's what it says.  So I sigh, and reach for the phone.

Stymied

Stymied.  Good word, don't you think?  STY-MEED.
I feel stymied today.  And frustrated and resentful.

I work in service.  I run a very small company, and I've been doing it for about 18 years.  I don't know how it happened, but here I am, still running this company.  I often feel blessed and grateful, but not today.  Not lately.

Here is the thing:  I am too nice.  Way back when, I used to think that if I really did my best for people that they would appreciate it and I could earn their future business that way.  I really believed that.  I wanted to show people what I was capable of.  It was a strategy that reflected my personality and my values, it gave me room to have faith in people and enjoy my interactions with them.  It was comfortable for me, and it served me with varying degrees of success for a long time.  Lately, I think it's broken and it needs to change.

What I find now is that when I do my best for people, when I make an effort, when I share my expertise - people take everything I am willing to give and do and explain, and most of the time it doesn't lead to them spending money in my shop.  They may walk away having benefited a great deal from their conversation with me, but it doesn't mean they feel like I have earned anything at all from them.  All many of them have learned is that I am a great person to call when they can't figure something out and they want free advice.  When they are going to buy something, they go to a Big Box Store.  Then when it doesn't work, guess who they call?

People also become more demanding according to how much (of anything) you are willing to provide.  For instance, someone may approach me with a question, and if I don't seem to mind giving them a detailed answer, they will come up with another question, and then another.  And would I mind showing them on the demo computer how to do X,Y,Z?  And perhaps they could use my washroom?  It's ridiculous how far people will push, without even seeming to notice that they're doing it, that they're taking advantage.  And it's starting to make me angry.

I read somewhere that anger is a sign that you are not setting proper boundaries.  Amen to that.  I do recognize that I am allowing people to do this. I'm just not sure how to stop it.  I have to be nice, because I do need people to shop here, get their work done here, and recommend us to other people.  So where is the line between "nice" and "too nice?"

I've given this a lot of thought, and I think I will have to work on a few key areas:
1.  Limit or eliminate small-talk.  I need people to realize I am not here to chat.  I need to work - and get paid. This one is hard for me, because I am naturally very friendly and chatty.
2.  Work out exit strategies for conversations that go too long. 
This can be done with body language for some people, but it's completely lost on others.  For the others, I guess I'll actually have to start saying "Listen, I'm sorry but I have work to do."  There are a lot of other handy tricks I use such as "The Repeater" - an approach in which, once I have said everything I am going to say, I reply to everything a person says by repeating one sentence, such as "You should contact your ISP about that."  Or "Perhaps the people who sold you the computer/printer/hippopotamus can help you."  Or "I'm sorry, I don't do telephone support for Hotmail."  Sometimes I have to do that five times before the caller catches on, but they eventually do.  
3.  Smile less. I know, this one is weird. I'm still trying to puzzle out the science behind it, but there is something about having a smile that is too ready that just makes people feel very comfortable.  And sure that's nice, but I think things have gone a little too far in that direction.  I find if people feel like we're friends they expect me to do favours for them, or do the work at a discounted rate.  If there is a scale that moves from "Pleasant" to "Professional," I need to push that needle farther to the right.

It's sad to think, but lately I find that a friendly demeanor just makes me vulnerable, somehow.  There are people out there who think that because I'm doing good work or going the extra mile or even just taking more time than many would, that it means I must really need their business and they're going to use that.  And that's really tricky for me, because I have a strong work ethic - I like to do my best for people. I'm not even sure I know how to just shrug out of a conversation that I know isn't going to be profitable - but I need to start thinking about that.  Sometimes there are "customers" you can't afford to have. 

Progress. And then not.

I've been training a new assistant for about two months now.  My shop is a complex beast filled with gizmos, thingies, whatsits and hoojits - and before I can walk out that door during retail hours, I need a somebody I can trust to talk to people about all that stuff.  Computers, you know.  Shit happens.

We reached the point where I could relax a bit.  The other day I even left two hours before the store closed - 2 hours!  I went home and cooked supper and then I went to parent teacher conferences.  Woot!  But I felt like a real mom.  I felt like I was getting to where I need to be - a place where I can span that space between work and home with a balance that feels more natural.  More me.

And today she quit.  Dammit, I liked her.  It wasn't the job - she's decide to move back home to another province.

So I did what I do.  I called my husband.
"Aw, shit."  He said.  And then: "Well, post your ad."
"What's the point?"  This is the third time I've needed to hire a new assistant THIS YEAR.  It's a soul-draining process that involves me wasting a lot of paper and disappointing a whole bunch of people.
"Don't go there," he said.  "Just start again.  Keep moving forward."

Keep moving forward.

So that's what I shall do.  Those of you waiting for me to read, this won't make me any faster, I'm sorry!  But I'm on it.

As for my own writing, I think I'm forging a place for that which can exist outside everything else.  I am finding that I can retreat into this story in a way I haven't been able to in my previous WIPs.  Maybe it's just more alive to me, somehow.  Maybe this story is The One.

You know.  The One I'll actually finish!

In the meantime, I have some...uh...stuff to look after.

In pursuit of checkmarks

I have not been blogging, have I? 

I've been doing a new thing.  Every morning I make a list - in pen, in a journal - of things I need to do.  Every item gets a priority A, B, or C.  I start with the As, and when I finish one thing, I consult the list, and look!  Another thing. 

It's amazing how this keeps me on the straight and narrow, and how much happy I get from being able to make a check mark next to something like Plan birthday party for Pebbles, or Call your mother.  That said, I have not written Post chitchat on your blog, until today.  Today, I actually did that.

Check.

So, I hope you are all well.  I am, even if it means I'm not exactly caught up on my reading.  I guess I'll have to put that in my list for another day.

They get younger every year

I just had a perfectly coherent conversation about molex power splitters, P4 connectors and secondary exhaust fans with a very short customer who had his boots on the wrong feet.

He had his piggy bank under his arm. It contained $4.96.

Thank heavens that is exactly how much you need to buy an IDE ribbon cable and a 90mm fan.

Too true...

A customer just said this fabulous thing to me:

"I've got Windows problems, which is a lot like having Women's problems.  It covers just about everything, and nobody wants to talk to me about it!"

Just...Tuesday.

Today I got up early again to write, and managed 700 words or so in that one precious hour before the rat race begins.  I'm still marveling at how that small effort to fit myself into my own life changes the way I feel.

I'm thoughtful today.  The music is off and the customers are (so far) leaving me alone.  I'm enjoying the feeling, because it's rarely this peaceful here and I have many things I can get done today.  And I might even bail out early, go home and make supper for the Beloved.

I have a favour to ask, though, before I get to work.  I'm brainstorming ghostly manifestations, and I want these scenes to be really chilling and spooky.  Does anyone have a ghost story to share?  You can email me if it's private.

More fun with customers

On Saturday Blonde Co-worker, my sister and I were quietly plugging away at our various duties here at work: filing, researching, cleaning, labelling - that sort of chilly January Saturday stuff.  The phone rang, and my co-worker answered it.  The following conversation is verbatim.  Really, I swear.

"Good Afternoon, Itsy Bitsy Computers."
"Hello?  I can't find your door."
"We're at XYZ...oh, are you in the parking lot?"
"Yes, I can't find the door."
"Straight ahead.  Just walk straight ahead.  See me in the window?  I'm waving at you...."

My sister and I are looking now too, out the large retail window at the front of the store.  There is a neon sign that reads OPEN, and it's right next to, you know, the door. 

The woman is standing in a parking spot just about 12 feet from said door, cell phone to her ear.  "I just don't see..."
"Look up."
I swear, she looked up.  At the sky.
"Never mind," said my darling employee. "I'm coming to get you."  She stepped forward five paces, and opened the door.
"Oh!"  says the woman. 

You know what else?  She was here on Tuesday.  As in, four days previous. 

Poor thing, now that's a bad day.

It's that 5%...

I've heard it said that it will be 5% of your clientele that takes up 95% of your time and energy, and after 15 years running a computer shop, I can tell youthat's true.

We have a wide customer base, a lot of customers have been coming here for years and have long since quit nickling and diming and shopping around.  They know that my prices aren't usually the lowest but they are reasonable, and the quality of our work and our customer service makes up for it.  These people come, we do the work, they pay, they go.  These people are not in the 5%.

Yesterday, I got a call.

"Hi, Cindy?  It's Eddie, remember me?"
"Um..."
"Eddie Benedict."  (Not his real name, obviously)
"I know the name....?"  I have already, by this time, looked for him in my Quickbooks customer list, which dates to 2004.  I do know his name, but he is not there.  So he hasn't been in for more than 5 years.
"Yeah, well, I used to buy, like, everything there." 
"Right.  So, can I help you?"
"I need a 160 Gb IDE laptop drive. 
"Those are in stock at $89.00."
"$89? Really?  Another place has them for $77.00."
"Mmmhmm?"  Meaning: So? Go there, if it matters to you.
"Oh, well.  Is there any charge to install it?"
"Yes, the technician will probably just ask for a $15.00 service fee."
(Laughs)   "$15.00 for a few minutes' work.  That's pretty good pay!"

I'm silent, because I really don't need this.  I have other things to do, I just want him to go away now.  We do say thank you, goodbye, but then HE SHOWS UP IN MY STORE.

Blonde co-worker meets him at the counter.  "Hello, may I help you?"
"Cindy knows what I want."
"Sorry, Cindy is busy with paperwork right now.  What do you need?"
I am busy with paperwork, a tax remittance that is nearly a week late.  It is not done because I keep getting interrupted.  He grudgingly tells her what he wants, and asks if the technician will install it, and is there a fee for that?

Now, I'm listening.

Co-worker says yes, there's a $15 service charge.  Eddie asks to talk to me.  We begin with polite greetings, and then he says, "Cindy, I don't understand why there's this charge.  I used to have things like this done here all the time.  You didn't charge me then.  It's a very small job to do."
"And it's a very small fee to ask."
He looks blank, so I decide to take a minute and help him understand where I'm coming from.
"Eddie, the industry has changed a lot.  You might have noticed there aren't so many stores any more?  Costs are up, and the profit margins are down, so we need to charge these fees now if we're going to continue to be here."
"Well," he says, "that has nothing to do with me."
Wow.  Nice.
He's upset now, because he really expected me to give in.  "Well, you've lost me.  You lost me when you started to insult me."
I looked at co-worker, and she shrugged.  "I don't remember saying anything insulting."
"Well, I could have gone somewhere else, but I came here out of loyalty to you." 
WTF?
"Eddie, we haven't seen you in quite a few years."
Huff, bluster.  "Well no, but I've been recommending you."
"Well, thanks."  Does he recommend me because I do good work, or because I do FREE work?  Let's watch and see....
"Well, that's done then.  I don't know what to say to you, Cindy."
"I don't know what to say to you either, Eddie."
"Goodbye."
"Goodbye."

And that, unfortunately, is the attitude of a lot of people in business these days.  There is little or no emphasis on loyalty or good working relationships with customers - UNLESS the customer wants to try and use it as a lever to get better prices or free service.  THEN, we find ourselves talking about loyalty.

DH and I discussed it at supper.  It's sad to say, when we built our business on service and antiquated notions like the Good Faith principle.  The fact is, return customer or no, these days we have to make sure we're getting paid for the job at hand, because even the repeat people often show up with a Dell they bought at Future Shop.  The notion of loyalty exists, but it is not a working system any more.

I'm Back, Baby

Yesterday, a dear friend sent me a picture of an angel with this message:

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the ground each morning, the devil says, "OH CRAP, SHE'S UP"!

I laughed, and it made me feel good.  And this morning on the way in to work, I was thinking about how I feel so much more energetic this week, more capable, more effective.  Of course this message came to my mind, and I thought: That's right Baby.  I am an agent of good things in life.  I am making it happen. 

Maybe I was a little drunk on coffee, you think?  Yeah, I think.

So, I hope you've found your mojo.  I hope you're making it happen for yourself and the people around you.  I hope you have someone who is making it happen for you.  Have a great day!

Sudden inspiration, or fruitless distraction?

Today I am almost frantic to work on my historical novel, THE WITCH OF BADENOCK. The main character keeps talking to me, but I've had such a hard time with that story that I've almost decided not to go back. It's the history part - I'm constantly doubting myself, is this accurate? Is that accurate? I should just say to feck with that, and write the story to please me and only me, because the truth is that's where the best stories come from.

So I might plug in to her later, but first I must work, work, work! Christmas cards to sign by the hundreds. Customers calling, customers leaving voice meessages and sending emails to follow up on their voice messages. I love my work, I'm just sick of it right now. I'd rather be writing.

I have some lovely new recipes to share, one for turnip gratin you can find over at Simply Recipes, and one for Bread Pudding with rum-butterscotch sauce and raisins.

For now, there's a customer at the counter who wonders why the computer he bought four years ago was fine then, but not now. (Sigh)

Vacation!

We spent a wonderful 5 days camping in PEI with the kids. It was sunny almost every day - much better than the two rainy long weekends we spent there last year! We went to the beach, we went to the playground, we made our own sundaes, we burned the crap out of two bags of marshmallows, we looked at the stars, we played shuffleboard and we played basketball and we answered not one single phone call.

I tried to read at the beach, but I couldn't stop watching the kids - their healthy little bodies sunwashed and sandy and busy, with nothing but blue sky and ocean as a backdrop. Jellyfish and crabs. Sandcastles and plastic shovels.

Each has their own way of meeting new friends - BamBam just goes over to the other kids and starts talking. That works. Pebbles prefers to play with older girls. It's funny, physically she's the same size as the toddlers, but she knows she can't really play with them, she's three and they can't communicate at her level. She's more comfortable with kids BamBam's age, so she just goes over to them and stands there until they notice her, and then she gives them a big smile and they immediately adopt her.

There was a country music festival in Cavendish with Tim McGraw and Big & Rich, we didn't do that. Camping neighbours on both sides of us did, though. The kids on the left were decent, but they did keep us up late. I had my revenge on the wee buggers - I got up at eight o'clock and fried bacon. At'll teach 'em. The folk on the right left a huge pile of puke in the grass - nice. We were glad when they all left, and the new people were much quieter.

Anyway, I am back at work, only now with a suntan. I have Stuff I should be doing, but I don't wanna. That's irrelevant, I know. Hi ho, hi ho.

Best Laid Plans

Today, supposing I get time, I'm going to have a look at my subplots. I might even try making a line graphy-thing, with colours and notes and arrows. Thing is, that really doesn't sound like it's any more organized than the yarn-snaggle that's in my head. There's a notebook somewhere I have a list of scenes I've written, more or less in order. That'll help.

I did my morning pages today in between fending off an ant attack - those little buggers are everywhere. At least the kids aren't collecting them in jars any more. Pebbles was mad at BamBam and decided to get revenge by letting all his out - in his bedroom - and of course he reciprocated. So, that happened.

Why did we let the kids collect household vermin in jars? Because they were quiet for half an hour while they did it, that's why.

Off to organize keyboards and vacuum the floor. Happy Thursday!

What is it with people?

Well, it's been quite a week. Full moon, people are crazy. Oh, you don't believe in that stuff? Perhaps you've never worked in retail:

There was the very old man who fell asleep in the driver's seat of his minivan outside the store. We were speculating that he might actually be dead, until a fire truck went by and woke him up.

There was the girl who backed into a sandwich-board sign and tried to flee around the side of the building, only she hit the corner and scraped all along the side of her car.

There was the woman who came in raging about how she can't send email through one ISP's mail server when she's connected through a different ISP's wireless service. Cause, you know, I should be able to fix that. I'm the boss of the internet, right?

There was the woman whose father bought a computer from us SIX years ago and never had a single problem, only now she can't find his Windows disk. I shouldn't charge her to have my technician reload that system, just because she can't find her disk. She will be pursuing this. She's taking this to the next level. She's calling MICROSOFT.

And last but not least? You ready? There's the man who drives that red sportscar, who used to have such a great job? He went outside in the parking lot and PEED ON THE GROUND NEXT TO MY CAR. He's the winner. He's the only customer I ever banned from the store.

All in the last 7 days.

I am so good at this.

technician: "Not to cause widespread panic, but we're reaching desperately low levels of cable ties back there."

me: "Don't worry. I wrote it on a postit. Need...cable...ties."

technician: "You are so good at this job."

In. Box.

Through the two-way mirror above my desk, I watched the woman approaching the counter and indulged in an eye roll. I've seen her before. I'll probably see her again.

I tried to project professionalism and efficiency (instead of frustration and impatience) while she fumbled with the zipper on her fugly bag, and opened her laptop.

"My email comes in," she explained with an awkward laugh, "and it goes to my Inbox. Why does it keep doing that?"

Ohforgodssakeswhatthef..didsomeonegiveyouacomputerfor...

"It's an In. Box. That's what it's for." Stop. Try to understand. "Where did you want it to go?"

"Heh, heh." She shifted from one foot to the other. Her computer finished booting, she opened her mail. "My friend sent me some messages, and I didn't get them. She said to call, but I decided to come in..."

The missing mail was in her spam folder. I spent 10-15 minutes showing her how to check the messages and move them - to her inbox, of all places. She thanked me, put her laptop back in that horrible bag and she left.

She didn't even ask if I wanted any money.

I want to fix this, but I'm not sure how. I mean, sure, it's only a few minutes of my time, but this is my workplace. I'm not here to do free tutoring, and I'm really starting to resent these people who just assume of course you can just go ask Cindy, she's really nice. How now, to tell someone that I want to be paid for my time and expertise?

And it's my fault, because I didn't used to mind. I thought of it as an investment - I put in my time and effort with this customer, and when they need to buy something, they will come back.

Ha ha, suckah. No, they don't. They buy a freaking Dell, and then they STILL come asking me questions.

Assertive is hard for me, and asking for money is awkward, but I'm going to fix this.

I hired a girl...and I liked it!

About a month ago I stood looking around my office at stacks of paper (peach, white and blue, some sorted, most not,) while the phone was ringing in my ears and I knew that I Absolutely Must finish four kinds of government paperwork before 3 pm. I was tired, stressed, and missing my kids, and a voice in the back of my head was whining I wanna go hoooooome. That's when something broke. I think it was my Brave. Or maybe it was my Stubborn.

Either way, I started setting up interviews and have again been blessed to find a sensible, hard working and caring girl to dig me out from under this mess. She is part-time, and she spent her first twelve hours hole-punching, alphabetizing and filing peach, white and blue papers. TWELVE HOURS OF FILING. And she stayed!

The next week she gave me unmitigated sh*t for letting a customer take advantage of me. I like her.

So, the office looks great, and with the help, I'm feeling about a hundred pounds lighter and more hopeful about the future.

Time for a break?

Ah, the Christmas Season. Brings out the best in folk. At least, I believed that right up until I started working in retail and computer repair. So it's been busy.

Yesterday I went into the shop to heat up my lunch and review the current workload with the technician. I strolled around the room, pointing to things and ticking them off in my mind.
"So...this one's got drive controller issues...this is one of the Gray machines, almost finished? The tower in the corner is scanning, new build here and here, hard drive diags on that laptop, this one's updating. Good. But what's beeping for God's sake?"
The technician said "Uh, that would be the microwave."

Peel my banana - it's comportant!!!

I love living with a toddler. Pebbles says the most incredible things these days, and at not quite two-and-a-half, we are suitably impressed.

Me: "Eat your spaghetties, Pebbles."
Pebbles: (long-suffering sigh) "It's spaghetti, Mom. Only one."

I guess she has my grammar thing. She also has my sweet tooth:

Pebbles: "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
Me: "I don't know. What are you thinking?"
Pebbles: "I'm thinking....cookie."

Speaking of cookies, this week has been really crummy as far as customers and work goes (ok, except for the bread and honey. That was incredible.) And if anyone ever says to you that mercury is in retrograde, don't laugh. I tell you: people lose their minds, and nothing goes right for two weeks solid. I work in retail, just trust me.

I did make my wordcount goal the other day, and I've been developing the habit of writing a page or two in bed at night. It's working!

The Good, the Bad, and the Yummy

And this is what happens. Make fun of some guy, and the Universe promptly smacks me on the Proverbial.

Remember Angry Customer from the last post? Well, she called me yesterday. She wanted her money back from the one hour labour she paid for our assessment of her computer (including the part where we said Duh, lady there's no freakin' fan in here) and the 8 viruses that we did, in fact remove, because we have Skills. Secret Ninja-Computer-Technician Mind Tricks, indeed. And a set of screwdrivers.

Her argument seemed to revolve around the fact that our assessment didn't jive with what the Other Guy said (yes, the one who called me - He of No Skills or Secret Ninja Tricks.) And since she didn't know which one of us to believe, someone must be Fibbing Big Time, and she didn't want to pay anybody any money until she got to the bottom of it. She would take it farther, she assured me. As in, to court.

This is Canada. To us, this qualifies as Truly Bizarre Behaviour.

So we replied that our charges were fair and honest, and being Without A Clue does not entitle one to a refund. If it did, I'd be waaay out of business. My husband had a long talk with her, during which he explained that we did the work that we were hired to do, to the greatest extent possible. We did not take her fan, (she was not accusing us of doing so) and hence we were not responsible - morally or financially - for any distress she may be experiencing. He welcomed her to find any person, anywhere, with grounds to suggest that we had ever been dishonest in our dealings.

At the end of the conversation, she said "So, I'm not getting my money back?"

Um, no. You're not.

And thankyouverymuch, Universe, for the reminder.

In other news, a week or so ago, an older lady came in and said she had all kinds of porn on her computer. (Put there by viruses, I assure you!) She was just the tiniest little bit upset and embarassed, so I leaned across the counter, touched her on the wrist and said...

"That's a very bad habit, you know."

She laughed. And yesterday when her computer was fixed, she brought me some lovely fresh bread - rustic and crunchy - from her daughter's bakery.

Today, another customer brought us some fresh honey from his very own bees. I'm thinking the two are going to be very tasty together. Aren't we lucky, to be so blessed with thoughtful, appreciative and caring customers?

This is a very funny world we live in.

Now, who makes fresh butter?