This is one pureeeetty dull blog. Sorry about that. I have lots of ideas for craft posts, idea posts, but the trick is in finding the time to articulate those in an intelligent manner.

I've not managed many words lately, I'll do a count later and update the progress meter. Some, not many.

You know, I really think too much. There are separate facets to writing, I know you'll agree. There's the marketing end (Is this a commercially viable novel?) The craft end (Does this scene do more than one thing? How can this dialogue be improved? etc etc etc!) and then there are the endless plot considerations. This is what I'm thinking about today.

Did you read those books when you were a kid, the ones with multiple endings and you chose the responses to various prompts in the story and sort of created your own destiny? I see that when I'm writing, the endless web of possibilities, a to b to c, or else e to f. Which is better? Which is the most interesting, or realistic, or imaginative? Which choices lead me forward to the best book I can write, which choices showcase my characters' strengths and weaknesses the best?

Obviously I can't write like this. Some consideration will be necessary - critical, in fact - but I'm trying to trust in my subconscious to untangle the threads and give me a whole story. The story I am meant to write. I don't know if I believe the notion that the stories already exist, whole and perfect, and we only need to channel them onto the page, but I am certain that I cannot browbeat one onto my hard drive. I've tried bullying already, and it didn't work. This time, I want only to listen, at least until I find my stride.

I've made my peace with Viggo, it's true he was a surprise, but I'm inclined to view him as a gift and not an obstacle. More of the same, really, learning to trust my own creative instincts and stay open.

So, BamBam wants me to play Lego.

Today will be my third consecutive day of work - that's work at work, not at home. Employee's siblings are visiting from AB, so in order for her to actually see them, she needs some time off. I like being at work, it's peaceful and fulfilling in a way that stay-at-home-motherhood isn't, but by the time the week is up I'll be glad. It's a lot of time away from Pebbles and BamBam, and the laundry, well, it's like Damomma says. I get it washed and dried fine, it's the folding and putting away that never seems to be finished.

Wrapping up another week of sick around here, we're down to a mild case of pinkeye in Pebbles, probably from rubbing snot into her eyes. (eeeeeew!) I had a fever for a few days, I just couldn't get warm unless I was in the tub. Thank heavens for my Most Wonderful Husband.

Valentines' Day with kids is much like any other day, at least for us, but we had some small presents and there were some roses and a pint of Ben & Jerry's. It's crazy sinful, that stuff.

Writing? I've been avoiding it in my mind, cautious that I don't get bored with it in my non-writing time. There has been quite a bit of non-writing time, what with everything. I'm getting flashes and ideas, and I'm looking forward to sitting down with my characters and getting some words done. I'm still around 3K, how sad is that? My progress meter just doesn't move like Sara's.

Whaddya mean, Viggo?

RIP, Anna Nicole. I hope you find yourself, now. I hope your baby gets a loving, stable home.

In writing news, there hasn't been much time in between blowing my nose, but I'm in a good place. I've written parts of Chapter One, Four and Seven, which is different for me. Right now the chapters are just sections containing a changing event, but it's as good a place as any to begin.

One thing I'm struggling with (and seem to be losing) is that my hero says he looks like Viggo Mortensen in LOTR but with the lighter hair. Here. I don't think so, but he keeps going back that way even when I try to make him look more like Josh Holloway. Probably best to let him have his way, he knows better than me what he looks like. Viggo is maybe more interesting, I just wouldn't really classify him as eye candy, you know?

Writing the SFD

You know, I've never actually finished an SFD. I've written 50K - actually much more - of written/rewritten/polished-to-the-best-of-my-ability words, but I have yet to produce a whole WIP. That's what I'm learning to do now.

I might spend fifteen minutes on a sentence like:
"Stubborn." He said, and placed a trencher of food near me on the floor.
There was a soft thud as he placed a trencher of food near me on the floor.
...a trencher of roasted hare...
...he remarked...
My cheeks puckered with longing as he...
WHATEVER! He gave me food. Move on.

Some of this is process, I know. SFD doesn't actually mean the first words that I typed, but I stumble in these potholes every half hour or so. For five years! I want to get the story down, and if it's studded with bright gems of clever phrase and glowing description, terrific. But I think I use it as a place to hide from those moments when the words aren't flowing, when I don't actually know what my characters do next. After struggling with JUNIPER for so long I've developed a deep fear of that impotence, so I learned the fiddling habit in order not to feel like I'm stuck.

This go, a new approach. Fingers poised featherlight over the keys, listening with an open mind for clues. And typing with no regard for where I'm going. Just get the words flowing, that's all, and enjoy the process. No white knuckles!

New goals

So, now that I'm up and running, it's time to set some new goals.

February - 3000 words a week, which puts me at 12K by month's end. Sounds steep, but that's what I'm going to aim at. It's under 500 words per day. As of today, the 3rd, I have 1700. So far, so good!

These words, by the way, are unabashedly SFD. I'm not going to stress about nasty sentences, stuff that may not belong, I'm just going to hack it all out there and clean up later on.

I'm baaaaaack...

Hello my few friends who read this...

I have solved the computer access problem by getting a notebook, which my DH graciously rigged with wireless LAN, and all that other stuff he does to computers. So, yay! Now I can go on the internet and write (without a pen) even when Baby Girl is sleeping! (Or should I say, especially when she's sleeping!)

Today and tomorrow I'll be putting the handwritten words from my paper notebook into this one. Then I'll update the progress bar and look forward to many happy hours ticking away on this keyboard.

A good reminder for me that if you've forgotten to appreciate something, you should try going without for a while!!