It's one of those days.

My bottom is on the bed. My computer is in front of me, and the cursor is waiting, blinking politely. Patiently. The door is closed, the Beloved all downstairs on more-or-less good behaviour. (There's no blood, anyway. And DH is there.)

It's just, my coffee cup is empty. I'm sure that's the reason I'm having a hard time getting started today. Once my coffee cup is refilled, I'll be brilliant, I just know it. If I leave the room, though, someone might see me and then I might not get back in here by myself. It's a lot harder to write with a two-year old jumping up and down next to your laptop.

So, it's another case of AITC, these things do seem to spread. I had it on Friday as well, and wrote only 142 words. Today I am planning to move even a little further past my goal, and I will. I just need more coffee.

Then, I'll be brilliant. (G)

Random notes

Finished watching Beowulf and Grendel last night, with Gerard Butler and Sarah Polley. Now, I'm never one to jump into discussions about what character looks like which actor, because every reader has his/her own private image of a character, and it's more or less immaterial to everyone else. I've gotta say, though, yummy Gerard in this film* is what my personal Jamie looks like. Minus the red hair, of course.

* I saw him in 300 as well, and he wasn't quite the same at all. Which is good, really, as he was playing a completely different guy. (G)

I've been looking at my word meter. I love the way it grows as I move along through my story, but every now and again it occurs to me that 80K is really an arbitrary number. When I think about the parts of the story I've developed and the things that seem to be growing out of it: the themes that crop up and need to be explored, and the thoughts I have that I really just want to express through my story and my characters, I'm thinking the actual number might be closer to 100K. Which really doesn't matter, I'm not going to eliminate anything in order to write a shorter story or be done sooner! It's just that I do love seeing that little red line up over the 50% point.

This afternoon I'm going to try a recipe I've found for a chocolate cookie with toffee bits and chocolate chips. Or maybe I'll go for the one with white chocolate chunks and cherries - you see my dilemma. Hmmm.

Oh, and I plan to write today too, so I'd best run along!

Halfway there...

My birthday was the other day, I'm 35 now. Yep. True story.

26 was hard, so was 30. I used to think 35 would be rough too, but it really wasn't. I think it's because I'm in such a good spot right now, with my two wonderful kids and my incredible husband, my work and my writing and the rest of my family. It's all right if I'm getting older, because I've accomplished this much so far, and I'm working on the rest.

Speaking of which, I crossed over 50%!!! That gives me a week to write 2500 words, and that shouldn't be any problem. I'm home for the next three days, after all.

Happy Easter!

The Big Reveal

Today I'm working on a scene that's going to create a turning point for Carrie, my MC. It came as a bit of a surprise to me too, actually. I didn't know how I was going to manage handing over this Missing Piece of Information, but I was driving somewhere the other day and realized that there *is* an existing person-in-the-know -overlooked because he was only an infant at the time. So I'll send Carrie off to find him, but today I'm skipping ahead to their conversation, because that's what I see right now.

It's cool how these things show up, isn't it? I don't think it'll ever get old for me. But then, I spent five years working on a novel in which this *didn't* happen - or at least not when I reallyreally needed it. It was a lovely story, but I'm afraid I'm the only person who will ever know that. Unless...

Not now. Maybe later.

It's very windy today. I can see the whitecaps on the ocean, even though we're miles away.

Now we're getting somewhere

Well, aren't we the regular blogista this week?

I'm finding that the more I let go of my control issues - nattering questions like: What is the purpose of this scene? Where, exactly, in the book does this scene belong? Shouldn't you be developing X or Y? - the happier I am, and the more the words flow. This is a hard lesson for me, because I'm having to un-learn some fundamental habits in order to stop getting in my own way. The biggest one is efficiency.

In my daily life I'm all about making the most of my time. It's a skill I've worked hard to learn. I have many hats to wear - business owner and manager, wife, mother - and in all these areas I've learned to organize, so that I don't have to do things twice, so I don't waste my time. And so when I put on my "writer" hat, I do wear it with some awareness of the passing of time and the other things I meant to accomplish today, and so it's hard not to ask myself the questions I've listed above.

Moving the computer into the bedroom when I'm writing has been a huge improvement, (how many times have I thanked you for that little pearl, Lindsay?) because it signifies to me on some subconscious level that I Am Writing Now. I'm learning to sip something hot from my favourite mug, take a deep breath...and RELAX. In that frame of mind it becomes much easier to merely listen and type, and lo! Suddenly a thousand words a day is no major thang. Suddenly it becomes possible that I might finish telling this story before I get bored of it. Suddenly I am less bored of it anyway, because things are going off in their own directions, instead of being crammed into my carefully crafted notion of the story.

Funny, I have to stop trying to get somewhere, in order to get somewhere.

Sunday

Only just got the baby to bed, she totally doesn't give a rat's ass that the time changed. And I'm going to have to stop calling her "the baby" too, she's nearly two. Ha. Nevah! She'll always be "the baby" around here. (crossing self, and saying a few fervent prayers)

Logged just over a thousand words today, in between making ginger cookies and pizza with the Beloved, playing with plastic food and just...loving Sunday. I've left my thumb drive at work again. That's not a bad thing, it stops me rereading and editing! Anyway, I've deleted some scenes too, and that cost me some wordage, so I'm not anxious to do the final tally anyway.

I'm home tomorrow, and hoping for at least another thousand words.

Word meter

My zotukou word meter quit moving a while ago, and I finally got around to finding another one, and this one works. It's very familiar, wouldn't you say?

The clocks went ahead last night, which is hard on a person.(yawn) Now it's Sunday morning, and I'm trying to write with both my children here on the big bed with me, which is not going very well. I'll evict them shortly. Pebbles is jumping and BamBam is - well, he's a six-year-old boy. It doesn't matter what he's up to, it'll be loud and it'll be something he's not supposed to do.

Today I'm driving with my MC, Carrie, to a tiny house by the sea, to meet a medium named Liz.

And it gets even better

...and then I got a surprise invite to Cora's for lunch with my mom and sister! And I ate this:




All right, I ate half of it. With a side of English custard.

Today is full of good things, I hope yours is good too!

Life is good

Gratitude is a powerful thing, and I try to remember my blessings all the time, but some days it comes easy. Like today.

Last night I got out of the shower to find my favourite pyjamas, folded dryer-warm, on the foot of our bed. They were placed there by my husband, who doesn't think that sort of gesture is anything special. I do.

This morning, the sun came out. We haven't seen it in a while. I danced to Why Georgia with Pebbles in the bedroom, and she laid her little head on my shoulder. Her hair is cinnamon, shot with sunshine.

BamBam wore a red striped shirt to school. I love him in red, I love him in stripes. My little man.

So, yeah, work can be a pain. But I have tomorrow off, and I'm writing.

The sun is shining, and I have it good.