Thursday, June 16, 2011

I'm just sayin'

I hate it when I call someone and they answer their phone, only to tell me I've called at a bad time.
So don't answer, ya big jerk.  That's what VOICEMAIL is for.

The telephone part II - sometimes at work, we dial a wrong number.  Shocking, right?  You know what I don't understand?  Some people will see that our number came up, and CALL US BACK to find out what we wanted.  Sorry, wrong number.  I'm not inviting you for supper and you didn't win anything.  And then one day a lady called us back and before my co-worker could even explain it was a wrong number, the woman was all vicious and DON'T YOU EVER CALL THIS NUMBER AGAIN!  And she hung up.  I mean, wow. Really? 

I love it when I pass a home selling blueberries on a table at the end of their driveway. 
No one is there, just a sign saying how much, and a Becel container for you to put your money in.  This is where I live.  This stuff fills my heart.  Not that other stuff.

I hate it when I'm trying to merge onto the highway and the drivers in the lane I need won't move the hell over into the - empty - passing lane.  (Seriously, are they afraid to change lanes?  Is that too risky?  Or are they just clueless and inconsiderate?)  So you have to slow down and wait for them to pass, which is just not what an On Ramp is for - a way for drivers to reach highway speed in order to merge with highway traffic safely.  You know this.  I know this.  So who taught these people to drive?

And Part 2 of this - when I'm on the highway already and someone is merging with highway traffic, I move into the passing lane (if I can.)  Then I see the vehicle still in the merge lane driving merrily along at 20 km/h under the speed limit until the END of the merge lane, at which point they follow the little white line right onto the highway without so much as a shoulder-check.  Luckily for that guy, I'm the sort who MOVES THE HECK OVER, so we're both still healthy.


Highway part III - I love it when the median is filled with lupins, it's like driving to work through a giant flower garden that nobody has to maintain.  Gorgeous.  Then, you see some well-meaning innocent who has parked his car and is picking them.  You laugh, because BUGS live in them there purdy flowers.  LOTS of bugs, but they don't come out until the flowers are unattended in a vase on the kitchen table.  All the other drivers are going by thinking MWAH-HA-HA, you sorry fool.  



SeaMaiden said...

Highway part IIII: Someone tailgating you for 10 km because you are going slightly slower than they want to be... .when the passing lane IS COMPLETELY CLEAR OF CARS. Go the F around, Moron.

Cindy said...

YES! That's a good one.
I saw a bumper sticker one time that said
"Sorry for driving so close in front of you."
I wish I'd bought it.

SeaMaiden said...

I'd like a remote control sign in the back window that gives them the finger :)

Cindy said...

Ooh, good idea. Better patent that one!

SeaMaiden said...

Danica-Dragonfly said...

Highway V: When you are driving at night and the ignorant so and so on your bumper leaves their high beams on.

That is when I would like to have a couple of halogen deer jacking lights on the back of my car with a toggle switch ... OH YEAH! How do you like the inside of your retinas NOW???

Love this post!

Cindy said...

Dani, I love the way you think.

Then there's people who can't pick a damn speed. They're going 90 so you pass them. Then you're going 110 (shut up, Seamaiden, I do sometimes :) and they pass you. Then they slow down again. Nearest I can tell, it's related to what kind of song is on the stereo. And then some people just can't stand to be passed.

Deniz Bevan said...

Ha ha!
Love the blueberries, though. Wish I could get out of the city more often.