...And we're back

Sort of.  I've decided not to hire anyone right now.  So there.

It's been a little rough, and sometimes I'm not sure just which direction I ought to go.  So for now, we're going to hang out where we are, and wait for the answers to come to us.  If a good one wanders too close to me, I'll snatch it and put it in my pocket.

As for writing, I've been having a terrific time.  I wrote myself through the first act without any sort of outline, dropping breadcrumbs for subplots and singing softly to myself.  I have arrived at the second act and some of those trails are heating up.  Funny how life informs the plot of whatever you're writing - and brings you in directions you wouldn't otherwise have thought of.  I like some of the ideas that are bubbling up.  And apparently, I end many of my sentences with prepositions. 

I need some coffee.

Progress. And then not.

I've been training a new assistant for about two months now.  My shop is a complex beast filled with gizmos, thingies, whatsits and hoojits - and before I can walk out that door during retail hours, I need a somebody I can trust to talk to people about all that stuff.  Computers, you know.  Shit happens.

We reached the point where I could relax a bit.  The other day I even left two hours before the store closed - 2 hours!  I went home and cooked supper and then I went to parent teacher conferences.  Woot!  But I felt like a real mom.  I felt like I was getting to where I need to be - a place where I can span that space between work and home with a balance that feels more natural.  More me.

And today she quit.  Dammit, I liked her.  It wasn't the job - she's decide to move back home to another province.

So I did what I do.  I called my husband.
"Aw, shit."  He said.  And then: "Well, post your ad."
"What's the point?"  This is the third time I've needed to hire a new assistant THIS YEAR.  It's a soul-draining process that involves me wasting a lot of paper and disappointing a whole bunch of people.
"Don't go there," he said.  "Just start again.  Keep moving forward."

Keep moving forward.

So that's what I shall do.  Those of you waiting for me to read, this won't make me any faster, I'm sorry!  But I'm on it.

As for my own writing, I think I'm forging a place for that which can exist outside everything else.  I am finding that I can retreat into this story in a way I haven't been able to in my previous WIPs.  Maybe it's just more alive to me, somehow.  Maybe this story is The One.

You know.  The One I'll actually finish!

In the meantime, I have some...uh...stuff to look after.

3...2...1...winter

November.  I'm wearing socks today, for the first time in a long while.  I guess it's time - on the way in to work this morning I saw people breathing steamy white clouds of breath.  Like it or not, something chilly this way comes.

On the weekend I managed just about 2000 words, putting me at nearly halfway to my skinny first draft year-end goal.  Looking at the overall word count and comparing it to to the events I've already written, I am thinking about pacing.  I am trying NOT to think about pacing.  Or structure.  At all. 

What I want to do this time is JUST WRITE the story - front to back, start to finish.  This is an exercise in trusting myself, letting my subconscious guide me in an effort not to get all caught up in the things that are not writing.  Index cards. Outlines. That stuff.  I hang myself with that stuff.

However, I catch myself holding a few events back.  There are some juicy bits waiting to be revealed, and I am hoarding them, hiding them.  I think I need to release them into the story, so they can become a part of the fabric of the thing.  That's what I love about writing this way - I'm never stuck.  What happens now grows into what happens next, instead of me already knowing what's next, and twisting my plot into a mobius strip trying to get x y z in order.

So I hope you had a Happy Halloween.  Put your pen on the paper and follow your heart!